"I could become the next writing
sensation. I could die in obscurity and, in two hundred years, someone will
discover that, like van Gogh and William Blake, my artistic voice was ahead of
its time. Or — and reality tells me this is the most likely option — I'll just
die, my voice unheard, my books unread, except by a few like-minded souls.
If I accept that the ultimate
result of all the effort I put into my writing is out of my hands, can I now sit
down and write easily, fired up by faith?"
In 2010, But Seriously... Why Do You Write worked for me.
But lately, i have been feeling stuck and sad. Even so, i have (by some miracle) managed to continue writing. But unlike last year (when i won two short story contests and attended two grand creative writing workshops), nothing spectacular has happened in my writing career this year. Well, I know that i have the blog award and a few stories accepted and published here and there, but...
And to think that i have never worked so hard on my writing as i have this year.
Am i expecting too much? Perhaps. But on the bright side, all my insecurities have pushed me to work harder. Sometimes, i am surprised that i am still writing. daily, i am faced with the realization that writing is more than just a catharsis; it has grown to become my life's purpose. and i cannot now begin to imagine a life without lots of books and writing pads and biros. In fact, when depression hits me, i find myself wandering from secondhand bookstore to bookstore, from book fare to book auction, searching for books to buy. Why this is, i do not know? But i have found books to be my most exciting companions.
Anyway, i sought advise from established writers. I said, "since, i cannot afford to pay tuition to study for an MFA, will a diploma with the writers bureau be fine?"
And I got various responses. A Nigerian, award-winning writer said, "Sure, if they (the tutors,, that is) are good."
A US-based creative writing lecturer said, "It depends on what you want."
And my dear friend Judy Croome took the time to write a beautiful, treatise on her blog. You can find the letter to a young Nigerian writer HERE. I recommend this letter to all budding writers.
I also did a lot of research and reading. I learned so much from some other posts on depression. See Depression in Writers by Nicola Stretton and Why Am I Still Writing?
So why are you still writing? Please share your experiences on the comments page. Longer essays can be made guest's posts. Email me on chioma.iwunze@gmail.com.
Thank you.
Labels: Depression in writers, Why do you write?, Writer's block., Writers and destinies